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A coming-of-age adventure, where Hell's Angels on Jetskis save Long Beach Island from a group of evil zoning officers and reckless developers who threaten the ecology of the Inland Waterways with their collusion.
Each year, through the inland water ways (from Florida and New York), the WATER RATS migrate in step with the season to Long Beach Island (LBI), one of the resort islands.
Hells Angels on jet skis, the Water Rats are a group of successful executives and businessmen that long for nothing more than an intensive, two or three week vacation away from their offices, their bosses, the phone, away from civilized conduct (and all its social bullshit), away from clean-shaven faces, neat haircuts and the file cabinet. This is the time of year they look forward to. A little hell raising here and there, a little beer drinking, a little screwing around with wild women, constant jet skiing, a modest amount of music and a lot of partying - like the maniacs they CAN'T be while at the office all year.
Each summer the Water Rats begin their hell-raising on LBI by driving their jet skis onto beaches to terrorize the bathing tourists. After this ritual, they proceed with the usual annual pranks: tieing boats together in the marinas, digging sand pits in the beaches, giving huge beer parties with ridiculous amounts of kegs lined up all over the roads, dragging their cars on highways and through back yards trying to get police to chase them. Eating dinners and running, painting a huge nipple on top of the light house, playing the raunchiest music possible outside churches, recruiting kids around the island into the Water Rats, printing disgusting T-shirts and handing them out to little girls to wear, repainting the lines on the streets pink and making them curly-cue off into nowhere (or the bay), attacking little old ladies and tourists on the sidewalk and spray painting Nazi signs on their backs and the President's seal in lavatories, squirting honey and mustard into police cars, planting fake bags of pot and cocaine all over the island over to drive the police on wild goose chases . . . you name some.
They are succeeding with their purpose of getting out all their pent up office frustration on the local summer community, but for some reason "For Sale" signs are going up one after another all over the island. In fact moving vans are pulling up to numerous houses, lines of traffic are flooding off the island, suit cases are being slammed shut by the hundreds, property agreements are being signed by the dozen, houses are left vacant, lawns are going un-mowed, cars are being vacated in the streets, litter is blowing around too much, trash is flooding up on the beaches and the sun is not shining as it usually does.
This year, something strange is brewing. Unbeknownst to the Water Rats, a group of greedy, crass and fat, New York real estate developers have discovered, through Satellite photography, that LBI, thought to be nothing but a sand barren island, is actually built on a bed of solid rock - one that rivals the granite base of Manhattan.
Excited by the prospect of founding a NEW, New York City, (to be called Nova York) BRAWL CONCRETE, the multi-billionaire head of the giant New York real estate development firm, MUD & CONCRETE, decides to buy up LBI and get started converting the sleepy little resort into sky scrapers, subways, one-way streets, sidewalks, strip joints, casinos and everything New York has - "but newer."
One day while jet skiing up the bay with 30 or 40 Water Rat colleagues, KREAK ZANTHER, head of the group, passes under a bridge that suddenly explodes, raining debris all over them. Realizing they were not responsible for this and pissed off, Kreak pulls strings and finally learns that this is part of a series of real estate devaluing ploys Brawl Steinberg has begun to put into effect. Brawl's plan is to devalue LBI real estate by a little hell raising himself. To this end he blows up a few bridges, burns a few houses, sells real dope to kids and dumps hypodermic needles into the ocean near the otherwise clean beaches.
The Water Rats waist no time deciding they do not like these New York suits stealing their game and crapping up the fun they have harassing the tourists each year. After all, if the tourists are harassed too much or too seriously, they WILL move out and the Water Rats will have no one to harass any more - no way to enjoy their time out of the office.
Kreak's good looking summer wife, SAMANTHA, and several female "WATER WIVES", guarded by HUMPO, are left at one of the Water Rat Camps on a small marsh island just off LBI. A detail of angry Rats heads on up to NYC to handle Brawl Steinberg.
Coming eyeball to eyeball, Creak and Brawl have it out in the shinny New York offices. After smashing everything in the office, Creak and his detail of Water Rats are smashed by Brawl and his HARD HAT THUGS who follow them back to LBI. The Water Rats retreat with their tails dragging low.
Realizing that Brawl's group is cut of similar cloth as the Rats, and not liking the self-introspection, the Water Rats, starting with Creak, decide to turn over a new leaf - and become the upstanding citizens they actually are the rest of the year.
By this time, however, the Islanders have been driven crazy and are selling and moving out cheap. Creak and the Rats feel horrible about this. They go around to each house and person they have harassed and try to make amends. But the Islanders don't trust them, ward them off like gang-busters and in no-way believe the Rats are really just business men getting out to raise "a little" hell for "a few" weeks in the summer.
The more Brawl and his Hard Hats continue to raise havoc, the more Creak and his turncoat Water Rats get blamed for every misdemeanor. It becomes harder and harder for them to warn the Islanders that their island is being taken over by these calculating New York developers. It becomes a nightmare.
Finally, after undergoing ridiculous amends projects, the Water Rats convince the Islanders that they are not the bad guys any longer. Several Islanders and the Water Rats form a weird sort of coalition which gangs up on the developers and finally demonstrates their revised intentions to the rest.
The new alliance battles the Hard Hats and eventually drives them off the Island, making them glad they live and work in the relatively peaceful city of New York.
223 W. Lancaster Ave.
Devon, PA 19333
J. R. Jaeger II, Producer
Andrew S. Cofrin, Executive Producer
Ari Ross (provisional)
Long Beach Island, Philadelphia
September 20, 2000
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